When was the last time you found relief in managing your growing doubt and fear in the workplace? Many clients ask us to speak on this subject through our leadership and customer service speaking platforms. The common reasons for doubt and fear in the workplace are generated from a surprising few reoccurring places.
People have been reporting problems with bully bosses, lack of leaders and broken or poor communication. How do you manage a bully boss when there is rent to be paid and food to put on the table? Most people simply live in a state of fear, stress and anxiety, which often raise their blood pressure or manifest in a multitude of other life challenges.
When our fears are aroused we move right into ‘fight or flight’ mode. This is nature’s way of keeping us out of harms way or allowing us a way of defending ourselves against the intruder, the bully.
‘Fight or flight’ gives us two choices, we can run away as fast as we can from our predator or stand and fight the beast. Most people think running is the best option as they seek to avoid the confrontation and conflict.
The problem is couched in the ‘no way out theory’ and that the process has already started. Our heart rate beats faster in order to pump more blood into our muscles and brain. Our lungs take in air faster to supply our blood with oxygen. Our pupils enlarge in order to see better. We can expect our urinary and digestive systems to slow down in order to concentrate on matters of survival. We actually feel like our survival is threatened during this process. We are clearly moved by each similar experience.
Our self-doubt level increases dramatically and we began to question even the things we already know well and we have no idea why we are questioning ourselves to this degree. So we say “I know all of this and I live this on a daily basis.” So what do you do about it? You seek to resolve the bully or the bad communication with an ideal of resolve in mind.
We confront our fears and stand up to the bully boss by simply choosing or creating the right time to directly ask the bully is there a reason why their behavior should result in an assault on you? Insure that the bully knows you will not tolerate or accept the bullying tactics. Almost all bullies back down when confronted. Whatever you do, don’t run or hide from the bully this only gives them a sense of more power, traction and deeper dive into you!
If these tactics don’t work, you must resign that you are engulfed in what I call an ‘impossible dynamic’. There are times in life when you have taken all reasonable and some unreasonable measures to resolve matters and nothing improves. These ‘impossible dynamics’ kill your self-esteem and crush your confidence. You feel like you’re going crazy, losing it as they say.
The best resolve in situations of impossible dynamics is to terminate the relationship as quickly and amicably as possible, to move on and share your gifts and talents in another arena. Staying in the situation isn’t worth making yourself sick over.
How will you leave yourself feeling better about matters of settling doubt and fear in the workplace? What will you do differently as a result of reading this blog?